How to Choose a Family
How Do I Choose?
One of the questions we often hear is “There are so many great adoptive families. How do I choose?” Lifetime Adoption works with a wide variety of families and it can be hard to narrow it down, but here are some things to consider as you look at waiting parents.
Type of Family
Is there something basic that is important to provide for your child? For instance, do you want parents of a certain race? Is it important to have two parents or do you prefer a single mom? Do you want a family who already has children or do you want your child to be the first?
These answers will help you narrow down on a very simple level, as families either have what you are looking for or not.
Are you looking for your child to live in a certain state or location? Again, geography is one of those things that you can filter by. Or, maybe you don’t have a specific location in mind, but would like a family who lives in the city, or in the country, or even a small town.
Lifetime has families across the country, even Alaska and Hawaii! You can find a family in any location you are hoping for!
Interests, Careers, and Talents
Sometimes women are looking for parents who are involved in certain interests and careers or who have certain talents. Some, we have heard, are a desire for a family who has horses or parents who are musical. Others have requests for parents who are teachers, medical professionals, or a stay-at-home mom.
Many times, it can be things they hope their child is involved in or opportunities they themselves wish they had as children. Are there certain things you are hoping your child is introduced to? Or are there some specific traits that you desire in your child’s parents?
Extended Family and Traditions
Many mothers have shared that they are hoping for large extended families, because they don’t feel that support personally and they hope for their child to have many cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Is this something you are hoping for?
Or maybe there are specific traditions you’d like your child to experience and enjoy. Families share certain traditions in their online profile listing that you can read about. This may not be something that is at the top of your list but it can help you narrow down the list.
Believe it not, sometimes we have heard that a family was chosen because the expectant mother fell in love with the family’s dog. Is it important for your child to have animals? Or perhaps you prefer to choose a family who does not have animals? Those are things you can look at too.
There may be things you are looking for that are not easy to put your finger on. Or there may be things that families don’t list in the profile online. That’s ok too! We have heard from women who wanted families who belonged to a certain political party, who were vegan, or who were open to keeping her name for the child. We would be happy to hear what you are looking for and then showing you families who might be a good match for you.
Still don’t know what you are looking for?
Close your eyes and picture your child, and picture the type of life he or she has. Use that mental image to help you decide which of the families you are considering can best provide that. Can you see your child in their family? In their photos?
Remember, you can talk to more than one family. Many times, other expectant mothers have shared that talking to them on the phone made the final decision easy – there was just a natural rapport that occurred, almost like talking to a friend you long ago lost touch with. Don’t be afraid to talk to families, your coordinator can even be on the phone with you if you’d like. It may be just what you need to make your final decision.
If you’d like to be directed to specific families who match what you are looking for, give us a call at 1.800.923.6784. We’d love to hear what qualities you are looking for in adoptive parents and help you learn more about them!